wonderwall.

i still get teary-eyed when i watch birthing shows on TLC. this time last year, i was preggers watching it... balling my eyes out, so worried about going into labor. i didn't want don to see me in pain like that. i wasn't sure what to expect. & quite frankly, i didn't want 50 people all up in my woman parts. but, giving birth was the best thing that has ever happened to me. it was hard, exhausting, and it made me very very emotional. i can't imagine what life would be like without gavin. what would i do all day? without gavin, i wouldn't know what to do. dad asked me this the other day "do you evert think of what you'd do if you didn't have gavin" and honestly, i dont know. i mean, what do people do all day who don't have children. i feel like a super hero with all that i get done on a daily basis.

i had no intentions of going off on that tangent...

anywho, Gavin & I are leaving for the beach in the morning. moms been down there the entire month of june, and i sorda miss her. dads not coming down until friday & misty will be coming down next thurs. but, i have to come home for a doc's appt... boohoo. Don's going to miss me. i bet so. he'll miss gavin, this i know. scooter may miss me... :) but, i need to get out of the house and have a semi-vacation. i want my toes in the sand & hopefully, the water won't be too chilly & i can get in. PLUS, i want some sunshine. i need rays. i need tan skin. i'm so white.

this will be my first long trip without anyone in the car with me. i hope gavin does well. i'm hoping to leave during his morning nap time, so he'll sleep most of the way. & we'll miss traffic & the sun wont be all up in his face. the 3 hour trip may wind up taking me 5 hours, but i really really hope not.

i've cleaned the house, cept the dishes. i'll get to them before i leave. i dont want to leave don in a messy house. i'm sad he wont be coming down at all, but he'll enjoy the house to himself, i'm sure. hes already said he's going to come home and take a nap when we're gone. psh, must be nice, right? i hope the house is clean when i get back, though. i hate coming home from vacation to a messy house & then having to UNpack. grr. oh well, the price you pay.

speaking of packing... i should probably be doing that right now since Gavin finally went down for his nap. he's been refusing to nap lately. i know since he's getting older he wont nap as often, and that's ok with me... but not when he's so fussy cus he's tired, yaknow. balhbaldkjfa

i need a suitcase. i don't like having to use three duffle bags and a book bag. maybe I'll look into getting some nice luggage. it's not like we go off enough to have a decent set, but it would be great to have when i decide to head down to the place at the beach. i can't believe moms been there for almost an entire month! if i didn't have a doc appt i would stay for two weeks... no i couldn't i would miss Donald.

don & i took Gavin to the city park on Saturday. om gosh, it was so much fun. he lovess lovesss lovesss the choochoo. he got all excited when i asked him if he wanted to go see the choochoo... he liked the carousel too. funtimes. it's not that expensive to spend the day there either. we still have tickets left. hopefully, we can go back alot this summer. don wouldn't ride the carousel with gavin... maybe i can get his tail on it before the end of summer. we'll see. gavin was so cute, gosh. he was holding on to the pole like a big boy. & he'd dance when we'd go by the music maker thingamajig.

my dancer roni

i finally figured out how to get my videos from my phone to work on our computer, yay! so, here's my lil man... dancing to fraggle rock. everytime he hears it, he boogies.

Run Miranda Run!

Our bubble was popped - it's raining at our house! no, it's pouring at our house!

I need to run. I need to get out of the house, and run. I need to lose weight & get back in shape. I need to get off of my tail & do something. I wish I had someone telling me to DO this or DO that like I did when I was playing sports. Maybe I could go practice with a team, or something, just so I have someone telling me I need to run the bases or run poles. I really do miss running. I used to run for fun. What happened to that? I could run around my neighborhood - but everyone including Don & Mom keep telling me that I shouldn't run around by myself - something could happen to me. WELLL I'm not going to NOT run just so nothing happens to me. Something could happen to me while I'm at the house. I really think if I got back into running, I'd be less stressed. I don't want to start by myself though, and honestly I don't have any friends. I mean, I have a select few friends... not any that would enjoy running with me... i dont think. Maybe I'll get a jogging stroller & just start going jogging with Gavin. Although, I'd really like the time to run by myself. I should talk to Don about it. I don't think he'll understand... bc I wasn't that active when we met - I mean, I was playing ball but, I was also pretty lazy by then. I need to run. Really. I do. And if anyone out there that actually does read this blog - wants to go running - HOLLERRR. Once this rain stops, I'm going to put on my magic shoes ( i watched forrest gump last night) & i'm going to run. I'm so out of shape, i'll probably get to the end of the road before I'm exhausted. Just keep pushing through.

Maybe I need to get headphones & a cassette (or whatever they make these days) of a coach telling me to get my fat ass up the hill... that might work. I hope I can do this, I hope I can stick to it, I hope I have the motivation to get back in shape. I'll feel so much better about myself if I could get rid of these 20 pounds that I DONT NEED TO HAVE!

I was looking at my old webshots webpage today & I have really gained too much weight. I mean, I look like a cow. What do others think of me when they see me? Do they think, Gosh look at that chubbalub. I hope not. I really really hope not. It's so hard being at home all day & NOT eating... I mean, it's like everytime I give Gavin a snack, I get a snack. I have got to STOP eating nonstop. Nilla Wafers, Graham Crackers, Fruitloops, Ice cream, Yogurt, Olives, Peirogies, Ham... I mean, on and on and on... and then I eat a big dinner. I have got to got to got to stop this messssss. If we don't have food here to eat... I can't eat, right? I thought that after I had Gavin I would be able to lose all of this weight, and I think I did lose weight for a while, but I wasn't worried about myself right after I had Gavin... so I kept eating & it's all built up on me & AHHH.

Enough about the fatness.

Gavin is tearing up a cookbook of mine. Oh well, it's from like 1979 & the recipes suck.

Roseanne is a great, great show.

There was a black lab across the road this morning... I called the Animal Control bc I didn't want him to get hit by a car. He had a chain on him, so I'm guessing he got loose. He needed to be brushed, bathed, and fed. I don't know who had him, but they weren't good doggy parents. I got some of Scooters treats & called the dog over... He came right up to me & was a little hesitant but eventually took them. He followed me around the yard & waited on me at the front door to come back out. He was so pitiful. I really, really hope that the owners either claim him, or the pound puts him out to be adopted. I have such a soft spot for animals... I hope he has a good life.

I believe I see sunshine.

raindrops keep fallin' on my head...

I'm so glad that it finally decided to rain at our house. Seems like every time they're calling for storms it misses us. It's like we have an imaginary bubble around our house with a big sign on it that says "No Rain Please!" But, not anymore... hallelujah! My flowers have got plenty of rain which means I don't have to water them today... yippeee. Instead, maybe I'll be able to pick weeds. The mulch I've put out seems to help alot, but there are those pesky ones that come back

no matter how many times I pull them up... I hate crabgrass. It grows everywhere. It'd probably grow on asphalt. I should put some out there and see if it does... Gavin & Scooter

enjoyed the semi-thunderstorm we had too. I hope Gavin enjoys them as much as I do. When I was little I used to go outside with dad before a big storm came. I love the way the air changes, how the wind blows & how there is a tiny hint of rain in the air. It smells so clean & all of the critters try to find shelter. Even the trees know it's about to storm. They turn up their leaves & invite the rain to come on in... oooh how i love storms.

I went to eat mexican with Keela, Brea & Dad yesterday. I think Gavin is going to be my mexican eating buddy. He really enjoyed the beans. I let him feed himself. I'm not sure if he wore more than he ate, or vice versa. He's so cute to me. He always does his silly face when I take a picture. & closes his eyes, which he got from his girlfriend, Ashley... haha. I am so proud of him. He does wonderful when we go out. I never have a problem from him. I consider myself lucky. I have seen families out with their children & how sometimes they have problems with their little ones... I guess if you start at an early age & teach your children how they are suppose to behave, then you shouldn't have problems when they get somewhat older. I can not stand going out to have dinner someplace & parents allowing their children to get out of the highchair/booster & run around... Going out to dinner doesn't mean it's playtime. Yes, you can have fun with your children & goof off in your own world/table... but you shouldn't allow them to interrupt other families, correct. yes, i think so. Gavin will know better. He sits in his highchair until its ALMOST time to go... then I get him out & get things together & skeedattle. Maybe I should start a "how to take your children in public" forum. HA! I don't see why people go out in public when their kids are sick/sleepy/ill. If Don & I have plans & Gavin isn't up for it... we change them. I don't take him out when he's sick (which is never, thank god) & he always naps before we go anywhere. You change your routines when you have a child... atleast you should. I don't think all mothers do. Just like all mothers aren't like me. I put Gavin before myself, in every aspect. Not to say that I'm perfect or anything, but I just feel like I should tend to him before myself. You may not agree, and that's fine. But, I think I do a dang good job being a mother & so far everything has worked in my favor... WOW i ramble. I'm done.

Gavin & I finally went out to my sisters to go swimming on Tuesday. It was nice. She said the pool was warm... but, I don't know what she was smoking bc that water was ICE. He had a great time in his new float & was knocked out afterwards.

So, he's going to be my mexican-eating, water baby. YAY!

The New Moon trailer looks great. I can't wait for it to come out. It's going to seem like forever before November gets here, though. And, as with Twilight - I'm sure the book is better. I wasn't a fan of New Moon, it was too depressing. It was good & all, but not my fave out of the series. I'm also excited for the new Harry Potter to come out ! YAY! I've started reading The Sorcerers Stone to Gavin. He has no idea what's going on & I'm sure I'll read it to him more than once... but he enjoys hearing me read out loud.

& the best part of my day - i was picking weeds (just a few minutes ago, bc i can't blog in one sitting, i have to stop... blahblah) anyhow, i heard Gavin giggling & look at the front door - he & scooter are playing & Gavin is laughing so hard he's bouncing up & down. it was hilarious. i wish i had my video camera....

bye now.